Midgets fighting Lions

Britain can’t afford child benefit or to finish building news schools. We can’t afford free education, so higher education is insanely expensive. We can’t even afford adult training programmes that get people into work and paying taxes with which to afford stuff.

And now, if a new report is to be believed, we can’t afford juries.

Let me just restate that – we can’t afford juries.

We can afford to cut fucking corporation tax!

We can, as ever, afford to drop expensive bombs on sand-niggers (praise be to Bill Hicks for putting better into words the contempt with which our leaders seem to treat the remarkable Arab world!).

And we can afford to write off the taxes of multi-billion pound companies who make a fortune from our country.

Yet for some reason, with the same money, we can’t afford a tradition and a basic right dating back to ancient Germanic tribes.

We can’t afford a right that this country managed to cling to through the worst atrocities of the vicious oppression put upon us by Norman rapists and rulers.

We can’t afford a tradition and a basic right so powerful that theNormans under Henry II even gave up oppressing it and instead adopted it. 

And we can’t afford what has, since Parliament formalised it in 1730, become a cornerstone of civilisation and human rights all over the fucking world.

So I really have to ask – in as scholarly tone as possible – What the fuck has happened to us? What happened to our pride? Our dignity? Our decency? Our lack of deference to those who want to lead us?

Are we really this pathetic? Are we really so complacent? Are the words “can’t afford” really enough for 60million people to bend over and take it up the arse every time?

There are no musts in politics. There is never no choice. Governments make decisions. They choose how to spend your money. And for a thousand years they have chosen to spend money on juries because we demanded it.

So what changed? It isn’t the fucking money. That’s a meaningless concept. Germanic tribes had no money. Our government has hundreds of billions to spend. They have hundreds of billions we let them take from us to do things like, oh I don’t know, provide us with a fucking criminal justice system.

If it takes too long to get a case to court – and it does – that means we don’t have enough fucking courts.

It doesn’t mean we give up on justice.

I mean, what the hell do we pay these people for?

So come on people, demand to know, ask the question. Why is it we can afford to cut corporation tax but we can’t afford enough courts?


et cetera